APOLOGIES!

I have been very busy with work and not working tradeshows.

I think the last show I worked was Oracle Open World last summer. Wait, no. Dreamforce in December.

A couple of things:

I'm terrible at getting back to your emails. Surprisingly, I've been getting a shitton of them. I apologize for the delay, but I will be writing back to each and every one of you shortly.

I'm debating whether or not to renew the blog, seeing that I do not post as much anymore. I'd post more, but then the blog would get redundant. Nobody wants to read about my day. Standing around, bored to death, giving general information to consumers. Does that sound like a fun read? No.

But stay tuned loves...because I got a story for you. Love. Love found at the Moscone Center convention halls...

...and seeing that it is February and it's the month of all love things related, I figure I'd share this story.

Stay tuned.

The Perks of Being a Booth Babe

I always think of new posts when I'm hungover on a Sunday morning. Something about being in this state has my creative juices flowing.

I digress.

The last few posts on my blog have been nothing but complaints. I don't mean to bad mouth companies, products and people. However, I give credit when it's due. I'm going try something different for a change be positive. It's how I want to start the new week. And I want to generate some good vibes because damn, I've gone and fucked shit up with my last post. Dude's website no longer exists and he canceled his Twitter account. *evil laugh*

There are some perks when you work in the booth babe industry.

Free swag.
My profession is not limited to trade shows, but I do a lot of product promotion as well. I have enough makeup removing wipes, deodorant and anti-wrinkle cream samples that will last me a year. On another note, some companies are very specific when it comes to what the booth babe has to wear for the show. 80% of the time you get to keep it. My favorite was getting not one, but two Bebe dresses from a company I worked for.

Networking.
Getting creeped on by freakshows is part of the job. But in every show there's always someone who makes you forget that you're actually working. Plenty of times I've gotten lost in conversation with someone interesting which makes the next 10 hours feel like nothing at all. Like Forrest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." The quote stays true to trade shows. I've met everyone from the executive staff of big name companies to celebrities. And sometimes, I work for them! A word to the newly, fresh graduates? Attend a trade show. Your next job opportunity could be at the booth you're standing next to.

Taxes.
You're probably thinking, how the hell is this a perk? Being independent contractor blows chunks if you've made over $600 with that company (and for most booth babes, you do), but technically you're considered a "model" so all your expenses are written off. I mean...everything. I write off my MAC makeup products to face creams to mani/pedis to trips to the hair salon. You can also write off your traveling expenses (hotels, flights, gas, parking) to on the job expenses (clothes, shoes, coffee). It's so awesome. So save those receipts!

Booze.
When you work a regular 9 to 5er, you're not allowed to drink. Sure some of you hardcore alkies have a stash hidden under your desk, but it's unprofessional to be a drunk on the job. However, if you're a booth babe, sometimes they allow you to throw back a couple. Personally, I don't drink while I work. It's my work ethic. But every now and then (towards the end of the show and only if I'm comfortable with the company I'm representing), I will have a glass of wine. And usually when you have a big trade show like Comic-Con, ASR or Oracle World, be prepared for the most epic after parties. It's like your city just became Vegas for a night. It's quite scary how aggressive these nerds can drink.

Traveling.
If you're in the industry for awhile, sometimes you're blessed to work with a company that takes care of your travel expenses. Since most conventions are done in a big name city (Vegas, NY, Chicago, SF), when you're off and feeling ambitious, you're free to enjoy the sites. It's probably one of the biggest perks of being a booth babe!

I know I don't mention the amazing companies I've had the pleasure of working with either. There are a couple of reasons why but my main reason is for my safety. Just like people, there are good companies and bad ones. Every now and then, you're blessed with the good.

I'm going back to sleep now.

MME Summit and Cary Grant

Gather around kiddos...it's story time! On May 12, 2010 for Cary Grant at MME Summit. The show was so disorganized that I began to worry about my payment just for working this promotion. Realizing that I had not received a check in the mail weeks after the show, I contacted him about the payment. Weeks and countless emails later, I finally received my check and guess what? It didn't go through.

Reason? Refer to maker. What the fuck does that mean? Well, from what I gather, it basically states that the creator of the check either froze the account or it is actually fraudulent (I'm gonna go with the latter). I politely brought this to Mr. Cary Grant's attention via email. He apologized and promised to reissue another check with a return service fee (because when a check gets returned to your account, you pay the fee).

I played the waiting game again for the next couple of weeks...and nothing.

I contacted him twice via email and received no reply. Hell, I even threatened to sue him in court for a writing bad checks (it's illegal in the state of California). I'm in the process of sending this guy to court. Shit like that pisses me off. If you're gonna hire someone for a service, pay them. People don't wake up at the crack of dawn and work for free.

To sum it up...

1. I worked at MME Summit.
2. I didn't get paid.
3. And I lost money in the process.

Do you understand why I want to put Cary Grant on blast? Can you SENSE my annoyance with having to deal with this?

There is a MME Summit coming to New York in November. Just a warning to any potential booth babes: I did not get paid...do the math. Shady operation if you ask me.

UPDATE: I received an email from Cary Grant about my post being "slander". For shame! I find it quite humorous that it takes less than 24 hours for him to get an email from him pertaining to this post, yet he finds difficulty in replying to my last two emails sent out over a month ago about my check.

FURTHER UPDATE: Just checked the mail. Still no check. *tsk tsk*

Barracuda Networks Recap

So my insiders have told me I caused quite a stir with Barracuda Networks.

Apparently Stephanie (the hag with a power trip) expressed her discontent (aka shitting in her pants) when she discovered my blog and my delightful review about her. Her and her cronies stalked my blog and my life (via Twitter anyway) for days. My analytics was blowing up! I was a bit concerned at first, I'm not gonna lie, but then I realized I have done nothing wrong. Why should I care? Bitch you made me cry, calling you out was the least I could do.

So, I was considering of steering my blog towards a different direction, but what's the fun in that?

More confessions. More ranting. More shit talking.

P.S. To MME Summit, you're next.

Creepy Emails

Hi,

Thanks the reply and all the info. I just wanted to remind you that this position is for an administrative assistant, not really a model. You actually seem overqualified for this position, but if you really do want to talk about it more I won't be driving down to LA until noon tomorrow.

Wow, you really do look great. Can I be frank? I might be a bad idea to work together because you're a little too good looking, which would put us in a dubious position. I've never paid for...um...intimate attention; do you ever come across propositions like that? I'm kinda embarrassed to type this out. I think I'm a little drunk. Whatever the case, let me know what you think.

Aroused,
Miguel

This is just the typical type of behavior a booth babe encounters while working. Creepy. Ass. Shit. This one is just in writing.

WWDC and iPhone 4

I didn't work inside of WWDC 2010. However, if you did manage to drop your business card to girl who was badgering you for one outside of Moscone, thanks not being a snot rag and avoiding me like the plague. I'm a girl. Not a freaking hyena. I swear I wasn't trying to make you feel uncomfortable, but I had to collect 50 cards to get out of the freezing cold and call it a day.

I got talk to some of you about what was going on inside. A lot of you are very excited about the new iPhone. One expressed so much joy that he screamed, "Android can SUCK IT!"

iPhone 4 must be that legit. So legit that you didn't mind paying $1600 just to be part of the WWDC action (you know that shit was streaming live online, right).

I like the iPhone but I'm always Team Blackbery because of BBM. It has that creeper function so you know the other user read your message. That way I know your bitch ass read my text and there's no reason NOT to respond promptly.

However, the new iPhone will definitely put an end to cheating. You can't hide your infidelities when you got it on video. So many compromising (and embarrassing) moments will be caught through a simple phone call. I might even hop on this iPhone action just so I can exploit people for personal gain. That's how I roll.

I can't believe I get paid for this...

Today was probably the easiest booth job I've ever done. I sat around, worked on my tan, had men cater to me (supplying my life with Subway sandwiches and Vitamin Water) and I got paid for it.

Sure I was in a mini skirt and tank top, however, I'd rather be in a bikini being under that desert heat.

Now, if the men that were serving me were hot and shirtless and also the tasty beverages had vodka in it, I'd be set. But I'll take what I can get.